Sunday, June 30, 2013

Initium

So I got to go on an adventure to Annapolis today. Believe it or not, I have made the hour-long drive by myself before. Hell, I've even been to the library that Skye was holed up in so I found it right away.

I walked into the sprawling, one-story building that was the library looking for him. It only took me a few minutes to spot him sitting at a desk by himself reading some huge book and jotting down notes in a note book. I walked over to the other side of the table and lightly tapped it to get his attention. Blue eyes shot up from the book and his face immediate flushed.

"Skye, I presume?" I smiled. The name hurt though, I hadn't said his name in so long. I heard his ghost laugh at me.

"Y-yeah, that's me. Tori?" he muttered, closing his giant book that I hadn't really gotten a good look at and the notebook that he had been writing in. He kept his eyes on everything but me as he placed everything in a black-and-blue backpack, the kind that had only one strap.

"Correct. The car's outside, we can get going now if you want," I smiled, trying to make it look as comforting as I could. I am so out of practice with talking to actual living things that can respond, I'm sure it shows.

"O-okay... Um, can I, uh, sit in the back?" he asked softly as we made our way to the front. His hands tugged at the pockets on his cargo pants and he walked kinda slumped, making him look more 5'5'' than 5'7''.

"Whatever you feel comfortable with. As long as you wear a seat belt, you can sit upside-down if it makes you happy," I shrugged.

He stopped for a second, taken aback. "I don't think I'll sit upside down..."

I had to stop myself from laughing. "Sorry kid, I say a lot of weird shit and I've been on my own so long my filter is long gone." I looked over him to see him looking at me curiously (i guess?). He looked away and his face flushed up again. I just chuckled as I unlocked my door and reached around to unlock the backdoor.
I have no clue why an '08 Chevy doesn't have automatic locks (or windows for that matter) but a car's a car.

"The ride back's about an hour long. Feel free to sleep and please inform me if you need to use the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I can find a place pretty quick. I'll keep the music pretty low, okay?" I asked him as I started up the car.

"O-okay..." he said softly. I caught him looking at me when I turned around to look out of my back window as I pulled out of the parking spot. Cue more blushing. He ducked his head down and instead started looking around the floor of my car.

"If you find any change on the floor you can keep it," I joked as I pulled out of the parking lot and onto West Street. He just bobbed his head and turned to look out the window on his left.

I hummed along to the radio as I drove. Some guy cut me off so I honked at him and gave him the one-finger salute. Of course, even when you avoid 97, people are still dicks. I looked into the rear-view mirror to see that Skye was still awake and looking pretty interestedly out of the window once we hit Crain Highway.

"I used to live around here, this street coming up on the left in a bit actually," I spoke up, causing him to jump slightly. "We could drive past where my house was. I don't know if they rebuilt it or if they just left it alone. County government sucks as bad as the lighting grid out here," I gave an attempted smile.

"U-um, sure?" he asked.

"Okay, we'll be waiting forever to turn left here though," I joked. And yeah, it took a good five minutes before there was a gap I could squeeze into.

"Third block, fifth house or lot on the right," I said when we finally turned. I tried to keep myself from looking, but the charred remains of my house were still there, after three years. I guess no one complained about it yet. I pulled in front of the driveway and parked the car. I also turned it off, gas isn't cheep.

"Skye, I'm going to be honest. This is what happens when you don't run. They make you run. You made the right choice, but you're not finished making choices yet. Okay?" I turned to see him staring transfixed at the skeleton of a house.

"Y-yeah..." he said. He turned to look at me and actually met my eyes for a few seconds before ducking his head down again to hide his blush.

"Let's go," I sighed softly as I started the car back up and took the familiar roads out of where I grew up. Soon we were back onto main roads and away from neighborhoods.

The rest of the trip passed uneventfully, until Skye spoke up.

"Do you think that... maybe we could stop at.... um a grocery store?" he asked softly.

"Of course. There's a Food Lion by my house, we can stop in there," I smiled.

I parked in the back lot to avoid people and cars alike and led Skye into the store. I grabbed a cart. "I'll just follow you alright? And don't worry, I can pay for everything."

He nodded and walked over to the produce section. Admittedly, I zoned out for most of the shopping trip. He got a lot of pasta and stuff. And some meat as well. Also Bacon, which made me pretty damn happy. Bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips. Bacon for the bitches. Bacon for the bitches.

From there we went home and got to stock the fridge. It was actually pretty fun, even if we had to rearrange it literally ten times to get everything to fit right. And yeah, Skye was kinda blushy and stuttery and almost bolted when we'd accidentally brush against each other trying to stock my fridge, but I really didn't mind. Hell, I'd say that I'm used to it now.

After that I gave him a tour of my house. I think he was pretty surprised with how big it was, but hey that's the magic of having a split-level house built on a hill. It's like the TARDIS, bigger on the inside.

"Anyway, you can sleep in wherever you want. As long as it's not in my bed it's fine," I shrugged.

 Skye blushed (to his credit, it was less than it was before) and assured me that that wouldn't be a problem.

For the next few hours Skye wandered around the yard before settling in the family room with his book, notebook, and pencil. That book is bigger than the 7th freaking Harry Potter book. But whatever floats his boat.

Around 5 he decided to get started on making dinner. I asked him if he wanted me to help and he managed a "sure."

"So, what're you making?" I asked as I watched him gather some noodles from the pantry and cheeses.

He didn't answer, instead he asked, "Do you have any basil?"

I shrugged and replied, "There's some drying in the pantry on the left. And that really narrows it down." I raised my voice a bit so he could hear me while he was in the pantry and I was sitting on a low counter in the kitchen. (It's kinda like a window seat so I generally eat all my meals there, it's a nice little nook.)

"You'll see," Skye responded, eyes scanning the cabinets.

"Looking for a glass dish?"

"Yep"

"Over there, bottom shelf," I pointed.

This went on for a while, he'd say what he needed, usually a utensil or a bowl to mix things. I'd tell him where they were, or open the drawer for him if it was close to me. He was actually confident as he went about preparing the pasta dish, he almost seemed like a different person.

"You gonna tell me what you're making now?" I asked jokingly when he finally slid the dish into the oven.

"Baked Ziti," he replied as he started microwaving some butter and garlic powder.

"Do you read minds?" I laughed, "Cause I swear that's my favourite pasta dish in the universe."

Skye turned around, startled. He met my eyes and blushed again, and turned back around. "N-no I'm just good at m-making it..."

"Well I think that's awesome. I'll go ahead and set the table, alright?" I gave a half-smile as I hopped off of the low counter and grabbed a couple of plates, forks and napkins. I put one plate at the head of the table and another on its left. I figured that Skye would be a bit more comfortable if he wasn't sitting across from me.

We ate in relative silence. Occasionally one of us would ask a question and the other would answer. There was no direct eye contact, but I could feel him looking at me all through dinner. At first I was paranoid that he was monitoring how much I'd eat, but then I realized that there's no way that he'd know about my up-and-down relationship with food.

Now it's around 8ish. Skye's back at his book, only he's in the room he's claimed. It's the one on the complete opposite side of the house from my room. I didn't expect much else really, he needs his space and I like mine.

So yeah I don't know what we're gonna do tomorrow... Eh, what happens happens.

~Tori

Quick post is quick

Okay so if you didn't see the comments last post, I'm going to have my first house guest~

I'm gonna leave to go get Skye within the hour. Hopefully I won't have to drive through a storm but whatever. I'll make a post when we're both back.

~Tori

Friday, June 28, 2013

Don't Get Too Close, It's Dark Inside

So after a lengthy email conversation between myself and Roy, I decided to get a dog.

See, thinking makes the depression suck balls. Being alone makes me think. Therefore, the solution is to not be alone.

So I went to the local animal shelter after hours and kind of liberated the quietest one. She's adorable. I'd peg her to be around three. I also "liberated" some supplies like food, bowls, and some poop bags. I don't want any of that on my yard. Haha.

The poor girl's terrified of thunder though, so she's having a tough time with all of these summer thunder storms. She hides under my dad's computer desk downstairs. That's where she feels safe I guess.

Hey, when I was little my dog would hide behind the toilette during thunderstorms. So yeah, dogs can be weird.

So yeah, I have a dog now. I haven't found a name for her yet, I suck at names, but I have a dog. And you guys can have a picture

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I'd Rather Make Mistakes Than Nothing At All

And really, this life has just been mistake after mistake, hasn't it?

I've been thinking too much about the past - every past, but mostly the recent past. I mean, it's hard to forget some of the things that I've been through thanks to these scars. I mean, there's a reason I'm wearing long pants all summer when I go outside of my house.

For those of you who are new, you wanna know how I got these scars? (I'm sorry I had to)

Well, at one time I thought that I could get away with attacking someone who was far stronger than me, and on the side of the Slender. I was still a runner at that time, technically. 
I charged in there, hell bent on killing this guy - this guy who I thought was a friend... 
They tortured me in every non-lethal way you can think of. Broken legs, arms, ribs, fractures galore. And I was carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey. They even decided to re-open that damn (X) symbol that some crazy ass proxy had carved into my lower back two summers ago (has it really been that long?), it's basically a tramp stamp. 
A few days later they chucked me in front of the proxy safe house that I'd been living in, Antithesis, as a medic. I went pretty stir crazy in that wheel chair, and I was walking the first chance that I got. 
Eventually, the scars healed... Well mostly. Some of the deeper ones were still scabby but I had enough rubbing alcohol (yeah I go hardcore when I clean wounds - mine or others) and gauze to keep them from getting infected. 

And that is the tale of my stupidity, part one. I'm sure I'll be putting more stuff like this up, just to avoid having to actually talk about this... 

Because no matter what I do, it still hurts. Everything. Every death, every wound, every betrayal still stings.

~Tori

Story of the Flower

One upon a time, there was a dandelion. This dandelion was the same as the others in the large, grassy expanse, but that didn't mean it wasn't different.

This dandelion thrived for all of three weeks before it was trampled underfoot of horses galloping though what is now Scotland.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Put Another "X" On The Calendar

How long has it been? A year? Time sure files, doesn't it?

God, my life has changed so much in the past two years, I feel so damn jaded thinking about it.

And before you ask - I have my reasons for deleting my old blog. I just couldn't take the memories that it painted in far too vivid detail when those memories are already a part of me that will never cease to be. My memory is stained with carnage; it's stained so red I'm surprised that I can see other colours when I look back in reminiscence.

But at the end of the day, I'm just a sixteen-year-old girl whose seen some shit.

So what am I doing now? Well, I've moved out of Antithesis for good. I still talk to Lucia (and, to a lesser extent, Devin). I still have my laptop. My cat ran off. And I'm still utterly alone in the romance department.  Can you blame me though? They all kept getting murdered by that tentacle-freak I call my former boss.

Speaking of ol' Slendy - I'm no longer working for him. (Shame, such nobility went to waste, right?) See, I maintain the train of thought that he's just a tulpa that thrives off of fear. Since the games came out and people started fearing him less and mocking him more, his power is growing weaker and he doesn't really want humans like me around - humans who came to him by choice and could choose to turn on him and possibly wound him in this state.

As for where I'm living, I'm back in Finksburg - living in my dad's house. I go to school here, public school and shit. I try to keep up the facade of being normal but... I'll get to that later.

So it's just me, in this split-level house, alone.....ish.

But, like I said, I'll get to that later. For now, I'm going to make myself some popcorn and follow a few blogs that are still active.

~Tori