And really, this life has just been mistake after mistake, hasn't it?
I've been thinking too much about the past - every past, but mostly the recent past. I mean, it's hard to forget some of the things that I've been through thanks to these scars. I mean, there's a reason I'm wearing long pants all summer when I go outside of my house.
I've been thinking too much about the past - every past, but mostly the recent past. I mean, it's hard to forget some of the things that I've been through thanks to these scars. I mean, there's a reason I'm wearing long pants all summer when I go outside of my house.
Well, at one time I thought that I could get away with attacking someone who was far stronger than me, and on the side of the Slender. I was still a runner at that time, technically.
I charged in there, hell bent on killing this guy - this guy who I thought was a friend...
They tortured me in every non-lethal way you can think of. Broken legs, arms, ribs, fractures galore. And I was carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey. They even decided to re-open that damn (X) symbol that some crazy ass proxy had carved into my lower back two summers ago (has it really been that long?), it's basically a tramp stamp.
A few days later they chucked me in front of the proxy safe house that I'd been living in, Antithesis, as a medic. I went pretty stir crazy in that wheel chair, and I was walking the first chance that I got.
Eventually, the scars healed... Well mostly. Some of the deeper ones were still scabby but I had enough rubbing alcohol (yeah I go hardcore when I clean wounds - mine or others) and gauze to keep them from getting infected.
And that is the tale of my stupidity, part one. I'm sure I'll be putting more stuff like this up, just to avoid having to actually talk about this...
Because no matter what I do, it still hurts. Everything. Every death, every wound, every betrayal still stings.
~Tori
Sadly that pain will never go away. It will dull as time goes on....but it will never go away.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could say that I understand. But I haven't really lost anyone. I'm sorry you've had to go through so much pain. I know that doesn't mean much. But I am.
ReplyDeleteI dont want you to understand this pain, nor do i wish anyone to understand it. it's a pain so immence that i cant describe it in words or motions. but thank you, it does mean something. it means that you still have empathy, that youre still human.
Deletekeep that close to you, never let go of it.