First off: Skye, trust me when I say that I'd say this to you in person, but I'm much better with writing words than saying them.
There isn't really an easy way to say this so I'll just type it out and go on from there.
I hear and see the dead, mostly those who were close to me... and the same for demons and spirits.
So yes, I know exactly what it's like to not be able to hear yourself think in complete silence because of the multitude of voices echoing in your head. Some are nice, they support me and I'm actually friends with a few of them. But many of them try to break my mind, they want to see me go crazy. My subconscious self has been through more torture than my physical body has. This last year on my own was not pleasant.
Everything that happens in my mind though, it makes me mentally stronger. In a way, it's what makes me able to block out His song so much because I already have to block out a multitude of others and keep at least two walls up to keep stragglers form getting in.
I like to think that a weaker person that I, one who hasn't been through as much Slender Shit as I have, would break at the sheer multitude of the voices, taunts, threats, comments, everything I hear and see on a daily basis. I would like to think that I am strong, but I know I'm not.
If I was strong I could make it so they couldn't access my head.... Sadly, I think that I would be rather lonely if some of them left. There are a few who I consider to be friends of sorts...
Maybe I am crazy, but I don't care. I'd much rather live in my insanity that I believe to be the harshest version of reality than face the silence of the other side of the coin....
No comments:
Post a Comment